i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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