I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
