I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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