he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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