I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
where does the pee come out of this thing
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
