I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
