Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
