After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
