For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
A bitchslap is in order.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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