White coat. Heels.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
