so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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