Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
