I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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