Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
