he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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