Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
