Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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