Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
