im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize