Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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