Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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