Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
