just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
