Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
