she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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