It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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