plz talk dirty to me
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
