I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
