I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
