Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
