And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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