I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
