Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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