cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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