He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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