Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
