I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
