and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
