Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
