strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
