Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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