physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
