And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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