dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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