Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
