I didn't shave. On purpose
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
