that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
