I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
