my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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