I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
