Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
