Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just high enough for therapy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My ass is underappreciated
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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