Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
