I want to have your abortion
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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