doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
