I just found puke in my bra..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
false alarm, still single
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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