trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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