is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
