Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize