I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
