hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize