Only a mothe r could love this liver
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
