im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
ttyl tear gas
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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