U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
