So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
